After reading Phillipe’s interview on Queerty.com, I have many conflicting emotions about his marriage while serving as a local politician in Minnesota. I have no problem with him as a city councilor; my only problem is that he’s married to a profoundly closed racist, which I found offensive. So much so that the idea of Lane Cunningham is happily walking down the red carpet with him wrapped around his shoulders or working as an assistant to Phillipe in local television news made me shudder at the thought of that. I’m not sure I can keep pretending everything’s okay or getting over the fact of Phillipe’s marriage to Lane. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to completely erase my memories of Phillipe’s husband from back in the Republican State of Missouri, not to mention the several interactions I’ve had with him on Facebook and other social media platforms. My stomach is starting to hurt a little after seeing your husband on the CNN news channel. Icky! Unamusing!
Before you start reading my loud-mouthed rants and making preconceived notions about who I am, please consider the following: Hold on to that idea for a moment! Don’t jump to any conclusions until you do your homework. Hold it right there! First and foremost, I want everyone on the Internet to be aware that I’m NOT a transphobic online troll who tries to degrade or harm trans people or individuals who identify as transgender. I’m not the type of person who’s against trans people. If Phillipe or Lane tell you that I am, don’t believe them, at least because Phillipe is now an official “national figure” in the government’s eyes. That doesn’t sound as great as it needs to be.
Someone who doesn’t know me well enough over the Internet shouldn’t assume I’m transphobic. Believe me when I say I have no issue with who you are, but it doesn’t imply that I’ll not have a problem with your conduct and how you treat me. I’ll call you out if anything is wrong with your behavior. I won’t say anything that isn’t true. Okay, I’ll admit to you, I was very uneducated and problematic in my sketchy past, but guess what? I continue to evolve and unlearn bad habits every day. I’m still growing. If you want me to take responsibility for what I did wrong, that’s fine; I’m not perfect either. I’m sure you have a lot to say about me, or perhaps you have nothing to say. It doesn’t make any difference to me anyway.
I ain’t gonna pretend that I was the only antagonist on this blog. I have NO need to be the only evil character in the narrative. Wherever you thought my behavior problems came from, it was the result of somebody else with a shady motive that led to my impulsive decision to do something stupid. For example, we see a child acting out stupidly in a middle school because this child was probably disrespectful to teachers and classmates. In this case, it’s easy to point your index finger at one or both students that got caught. Many people tend to forget where they got their problems, which starts at home, right? Right? Consequently, the school administration staff had to notify the parents, and they held them accountable for their children’s actions. Two or more classmates are more responsible than blaming only one person for all wrongdoing. So if I’m the only one who has this problem, I can’t be immediately blamed for everything going on. If this blame is for me, it must be for you too. I don’t care what you don’t say. I do say! The two parties are at fault, not one person, for having caused all the problems. That’s not the way things work!
For your information, when I’m emotionally insulted, I’m NOT good at forgiving people. You can’t expect me to forgive and forget because I ain’t the forgiving type. I know I’ve become cold and insensitive, but this is how I protect myself against toxicity and exploitation. I just came by to tell you the truth about what happened on Twitter between Phillipe and me. I believe he’s got some different profiles and accounts. I snuck into his Direct Messages and told him that Lane Cunningham is NOT “who you think he is,” but Phillip didn’t want to hear what I told him. He wasn’t wasting any time blocking me on Twitter because he wouldn’t listen to me. He stopped me before he knew it. The last time I saw Lane was in Saint Louis, Missouri. Phillipe never even asked me if my mental health was all right. In June 2014, as a self-reliant adult with a disability.
As far as I’m concerned, Lane owed me an apology and should’ve been honest about how he treated me! What happened there could’ve been a lot more productive! I’m afraid he’d already made his decision on all that he thought of me at that time when we met in Saint Louis, Missouri. I can’t recall how Lane and I became such bitter adversaries. Technically, it’s about him, not me.
I informed Phillipe via Twitter Direct Messages that I had a past with his spouse before moving to Minnesota. Lane Cunningham has been a former social worker at the Missouri School for the Deaf throughout my time there. But he did nothing for me there. I mean, not precisely in direct physical contact, but Lane worked for Becky-Becky, a lesbian boss at the L.E.A.D Institute in Columbia, Missouri. It took a bit more time before she became his employer. I think it’s a fact that the residential school has engaged the agency to deal with the mental health of Deaf children during my timeline.
Becky-Becky is deeply committed to the Deaf community, both in Colombia and in the surrounding areas of Jefferson City and Fulton. Who knows, perhaps she took him under her wing because they’re both gay, but I’m not sure. He may have felt more comfortable working with her since the agency is LGBT-friendly. That’s how I looked at it back then. I don’t know if he was an intern at the University of Missouri and then moved to another state. I have no idea who he was at the time. We never made contact. Maybe we’ve got somewhere along the way. When Becky-Becky phoned in ill, I honestly don’t recall any of our scheduled appointments together. Don’t ask me why everyone called her “Becky-Becky,” given that’s her name. It means nothing to me. I also remember him at Teen Institute, a summer camp in Missouri where I participated.
I don’t even try to recall whether or not we talked together at the time, but I saw him working with Deaf children in both summer camp and counseling services, and I think he was playing team tags. That’s the last I remember of him being like that. What I’m saying is that Lane is always very familiar with American Sign Language. I’m deaf, so that’s problematic for me.
On Facebook, I found out late that Lane was a former member of LGBT CENTER SAINT LOUIS, which I found curious and unexpected. I had no idea he was in St. Louis at that time, in 2014; I had no idea he was there. When I last saw him, I thought he was still working with Becky-Becky (LEAD INSTITUTE) at Columbia, Missouri.
On June 29, 2014, I was amazed when I saw Lane Cunningham at the Downtown Saint Louis Pride Festival for the second time. I was going to introduce myself and ask about his welfare after the LEAD Institute. Instead, I was met with a total absence from his welcome, warmth, or any other positive thing to say. When Lane saw me, he was trying to get away from me. It seemed as if he had a bad feeling about meeting me and pretended he didn’t know who I was in front of random strangers and tourists as we were both walking around the downtown. He was never going to help me with the tent. He was reluctant to volunteer as a tent interpreter because he refused to engage with anyone in sign language. I realize he’s not a very good translator, but I was planning on using him anyway. I asked him to do it for free, but he always said no. If he wants to know more about ASL, I am happy to help him improve his skills. It’s not like I’m suffocating him or anything wrong. I had the pleasure of sharing my sign language with others. I know he’s not even interested in volunteering as my interpreter. Still, I asked him just one little favor, and it shouldn’t cost him that much.
Lane went into the tent where I had briefly worked with other volunteers a couple of minutes before noon. I first mistook him for being my interpreter. I saw him taking things out of the shoebox, including LGBT brochures, HIV/AIDS awareness booklets, stickers, pins, condoms, and maybe eating candy, among other things.
“I didn’t come because of you,” he told me when he spotted me.
“I am here to look after myself. Go and get an interpreter for yourself if you want someone to represent you.” He basically said “no” and then walked away. When I asked him if he was interested, he didn’t want to be around me for very long. These last few days, I’ve been trying to be patient with him. I tried to be polite to him, but he seemed to avoid me as though he didn’t want me to be at his side. In 2014, I was upset about the way he treated me. I don’t mind him being a trans man. The only problem I got with him was the way he treated me. That time, I felt deeply hurt by what had happened. I’m really looking forward to working with this man.
I want to know him personally because I have given him many chances to know me, but he has always denied me. I’m not sure what he was thinking of me at that time; maybe he was too ashamed to tell these members of the LGBT Center he was my former social worker. He didn’t want to add to the confusion in the LGBT Center. He doesn’t have any trouble befriending someone with whom he feels comfortable in a social situation. When I went online, I saw that several of his acquaintances were Deaf. I have no idea what he sees in these people he met online and with whom he was friends. Maybe he cares more about those people than he does about me. Frankly, I don’t know what’s going on inside his head.
If I posted something on Facebook, Lane secretly read the whole thing. If he didn’t like what I wrote on Facebook, he scolded me and challenged my intelligence mercilessly. He has no qualms about disrespecting my academic intellect with a logical fallacy about me. When I slid into Lane’s Direct Messages on Facebook, he was always silent, and no words came out of his keyboard when I hit the ENTER key. He’s a man of few words who didn’t want to engage me in a conversation, so I left him alone for quite a while. He’s been saying nothing to me for decades. I promise I wasn’t aggressive stalking him forever. In my response, I suggested that we build a sort of “middle ground” between us. I want him to understand I’m not his opponent, but he doesn’t seem interested in me. He may have difficulty placing his trust in Missouri’s Deaf community. I don’t know what happened to him in the LEAD Institute or why he left. But no matter what it was, it wasn’t my actions that made him stop working with the Deaf kids. I have no idea what happened between him and these Deaf kids.
That he was a closeted racist remained in my mind for some time after experiencing that. Perhaps he didn’t like Deaf Black Men in his sexual preference. So I decided I was so frustratingly sick of his bullshit, but at the same time, I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him right now. I’m NOT sure why I didn’t call him out on Facebook years ago; don’t ask me why I didn’t, but I should have done so. It wasn’t until I found out Lane was married to some black guy named Phillipe in Minnesota.
WHAT?! I’m thinking to myself.
As a result, I decided to tell Phillipe that Lane was mistreating me in Missouri. I was instantly banned from his Twitter account after telling him that. Phillipe declined to respond because he’s not taking this seriously!
It was so hilarious and bizarre to read Phillipe’s tweets complaining about Minnesota racists in his hometown while living in the state of Minnesota. How ironic?! Was Phillipe made aware that he was married to one of those racists? Huh? Lane is a racist STRICTLY HIDDEN! I think Lane has some odd fascination with him. My residential school, the Teen Institute (Summer Camp), and the LGBT CENTER in Saint Louis were where I met him. Why did Phillipe ignore me when I told him the truth? What did he think of my accusations when he blocked me on Twitter in a split-second? It seems odd that he cannot recognize his husband’s racial profiling and discriminatory behavior towards me. I didn’t think there was any misunderstanding between Phillipe and me. Listen to me carefully! I applauded Phillipe’s commitment to the Black Lives Matter movement and his advocacy for Trans Folks of Color. I mean, it’s nice to hear so much good news about him, and I’m glad for him! But… The fallout between Lane and I is so fuckin’ weird that I’ve seen him engaged in the BLM movement online. It’s mind-boggling that he’s an ally for black people from nowhere and out of the blue. Lane hasn’t told me he’s on my side because I’m black. That’s when I thought it was weird for him to marry a black man. I was wondering if he was fetishizing him. That just doesn’t make sense to me!
Lane wasn’t accommodating so well around me because I had no information about him from Black Deaf people who had positive things to say. I never had him by my side as an ally in protecting my skin identity. He’s NOT even friends with the black communities of Saint Louis! He hasn’t been a member of the Saint Louis Metro Black Deaf Advocates since it was established in 2016. He didn’t even have ties to the National Black Deaf Advocates because he knows the Deaf culture so damn well and can interact so damn well! He never helped to advocate for my family or me, ever! Not even in high school, at the Teen Institute, or anywhere else in Saint Louis, I never saw him speaking out against racists in front of me. From my experience, he was never resistant to police violence, especially in Missouri! So far, I haven’t seen him do the damnedest thing! When Lane arrived in Minnesota, he proudly lied about his white privilege to everybody because nobody knew his racist past in Missouri! Moving to another state where you can be true to yourself and make others think you’re a hero is bullshit! Full of bullshit!
This man is no hero! When I was in high school, I never saw him do something that would keep me from going to jail in handcuffs. What makes you think Lane should be on your political platform? This is precisely what I do NOT understand here! How can he call himself an ally of the black community when he has done absolutely nothing for me? Where was he during the riots and protests against police brutality after the death of Mike Brown in 2014? Mike Brown died the night of Lane’s birthday! Where was Lane on his birthday when Mike brown got killed!
WHERE HAS HE BEEN?! HUH?!
If you read this, please, Councilman Phillipe, please listen to my warnings. Don’t take him to the red carpet with you or to your television appearances. That’s one of the things I’m NOT %100 comfortable with when I saw him appearing on CNN news. Lane Cunningham doesn’t deserve to be on your political platform since he’s NOT the man I remembered at the 2014 Pride Festival in Downtown Saint Louis. After he insulted my intelligence on Facebook, I can’t believe that you saw him as a role model or the white savior of the Black Lives Matter movement. I categorically rejected Lane to be part of your political campaign and your oratorical platform. Pull him out of your political activities at all costs! You should keep your racist husband away from your social media posts! I don’t give a fuck who you think he is to you! I don’t care that he is your sweetheart! I don’t care that he is your personal cheerleader! I don’t care how he proudly screams your name from backstage. Don’t even think about capitalizing on Lane’s white privileges to change America in a new light! Don’t you dare! Don’t be a fool! Don’t let yourself be used as a tokenism to gaslight the black community! Don’t do that! You’re making a huge mistake!
You’re probably going to aggressively defend your husband on your political platform with social media accounts. Then you’re a lying hypocrite and a traitor to the black community! I would have been embarrassed by your defense! You should know I don’t take kindly to hypocrites and traitors! I won’t pay you a dime for your future campaigns! It has always been difficult to believe that you married the racist and integrated him into your political lifestyle! I can’t afford to visually picture him as the First Trans Husband of the White House if you’re going to be the First Trans President of the United States! I can’t make sense of you! I can’t go through with this! I can’t get him into the White House! That’s BEYOND me! You’d be better off NOT marrying your husband! You should have thought of marrying someone else that I wouldn’t have complained about! Why did Lane have to make national news? Why him?! You realize you’re protecting his racist past, right? If you’re always with him, I would NEVER vote for you as the presidential candidate. No, I’m NOT going to. Trust me, I’m not doing that. I’m NOT here for Lane!
If Lane Cunningham was in his CNN interview and decided to lie about his racist past in Missouri. If he happened to quote his lies, he did a fantastic job in Missouri fighting racism in police brutality and helping the charitable cause in the Deaf community. Whatever the hell is coming out of his mouth, I’d call him out loud as a lying son of a bitch! That’s him turning his back on me! He could have helped me out in school, but he never did! He enjoys making fun of my intelligence on Facebook because he’s so damn conscious of the systematic racism in Missouri! He knew Missouri was rabidly overflowing with transphobic Republicans and conservatives! He didn’t even try to challenge those dirty-ass bastards! He didn’t even try dismantling the system during my puberty years!