6 Months at National technical for the deaf (PART 8)

6 Months at National Technical For the Deaf (PART 8)

Wow! I can’t believe that it’s already been 10 years in 2021! I’m still OBSESSED with every moment of my college experience from Fall 2011 to Winter 2012. Yeah! I’m consciously overthinking how much I reflect too much on good and bad memories. But what you’re reading here is probably TOXIC, UNHEALTHY, or REPETITIVE. I was only 19 years old in my naivety of real-world problems on my own after completing my high school diploma.

🤔🤷🏿‍♂️

A screenshot photo of the National Technical for the Deaf. The first six words appeared in the front of building: From September 2011 to March 2012. Photo Credit: NTID/RIT.

FROM SEPTEMBER 2011 To March 2012

  1. Demetrius Curtis
  2. Zachary Brain Seguin
  3. Missouri
  4. November 11, 2011
  5. David Cardona
  6. Emily Borgel

DAVID CARDONA IS AN OBJECT OF MY AFFECTION

MORE DETAILS IN FEBRUARY 2012

I seem to recall having a short conversation with David Cardona about those attractive girls from high school in Fulton, Missouri. I told him that if I hadn’t been such a sissy all the time, I would’ve been able to date them, but I was a loser back then. None of them thought I was attractive at that time. 

I was never really that desirable as boyfriend material when I was in high school.

When I initially told David about it, I realized that there were a few high school classmates I knew for whom I wasn’t always emotionally available. I only recall occasionally treating them like a piece of shit, but NOT always. Therefore, at that point, I began searching for those girls’ names on Facebook in front of David Cardona sitting next to me, and I was curious as to whether or not he felt they were physically appealing or academically clever based on their profile images. David acknowledged that several of the women I showed him online had attractive physical characteristics and charming personalities. He said that he would go out on a date with one of them at my school if he attended that location himself as a student.

Ha-ha! It seems like David Cardona was making a joke, Did He? As a student attending my school? well, not a terrible idea! LOL! I can easily imagine that I would’ve gained much popularity if I had him back then.

The conversation went on like this until we changed the topic once again. At one point, David brought up the name of his closest friend in a tragic car accident. I didn’t realize that one of his best friends was from my hometown, where I grew up! Wow! What a small world! Andrew Vetor! I had NO idea that David Cardona was visiting him at a “Saint Louis, Missouri” hospital. I had NO idea Andrew was David’s best friend all these years! At the same time, I stayed abroad at the Missouri Deaf School! I had no way of knowing at that time! I DIDN’T KNOW!

That was the first time David Cardona mentioned him to me in the Wallace Library at Rochester Institute of Technology.

A collage photo of Andrew Vetor is in the front of the background (a truck accident on the highway). The first four words appeared in the front of the background: Before Crash/After Crash. This photo is heavily edited through the PicMonkey website.

A collage photo of Andrew Vetor is in the background of a truck accident on the highway.

Because of his truck accident that occurred in 2008, Andrew was in really terrible condition. Yes, the year 2008 was the year of the automobile tragedy. Andrew was worn out, weary, and sleepy while driving his truck on the interstate highway after midnight or 4 AM, so he was on the way home alone without anybody to keep an eye on him. The night after the vehicle accident, he slipped into a profound coma. It wasn’t until several weeks later that he woke up that he belatedly realized he might have requested someone else to drive his car rather than do it himself. David said that his closest friend’s severe brain injury had worsened and that NO one recognized his personality anymore. He was completely disconnected from the reality that he is currently a part of. It quickly became clear that this Andrew Vetor wasn’t the same man that everyone had previously remembered. David says that he is NOT just the same anymore.

I also admitted to David that “his best friend” and I weren’t really CLOSE.

During the week that I spent at a summer camp with other boys my age, Andrew Vetor served as my peer mentor. He behaved in such a hostile and condescending manner toward me in every conceivable way. At least I wasn’t lying to David about that part. I informed him that I didn’t like my toxic contact with Andrew at the Teen Institute’s Deaf Teen Program since he was a bully targeting me then. 

 I never forgot that!

But now… Due to the events that transpired in a car accident involving Andrew, everything was harmfully altered in the most abrupt and unanticipated manner. I’m unable to continue to despise Andrew. I was under the impression that my condition was improving from one day to the next, but that wasn’t the case. He made me feel horrible about the whole thing that happened to him, and he didn’t deserve it. Regardless of how much of a jerk he was, he still doesn’t deserve it. I was completely at a loss as to how to respond, but I knew that I wanted to treat him better than he treated me. Indeed, the terrible event caused a great deal of harm to his mental health and had a profound effect on him as a result. It’s hard for me to say whether or not things will turn out for the best… Now, Andrew is dealing with additional health issues as a direct result of the automobile accident that occurred extremely late at night. Whoever it was that I encountered was NOT the same bully with whom I had been interacting. When I ran into him a second time, he NEVER posed a danger to me. He doesn’t seem to be the same man anymore. Still, I felt bad. 

I felt so weird lookin’ at Andrew right now.

David: “I tried to be more patient with him even though I was losing my sanity because of what happened to him in a car accident. I used to listen to Andrew’s favorite word, the same word that he won’t stop saying, over and over again. He’s got nothing else to say so far. He had already been mentally damaged. It’s heartbreaking to see him in that condition. After visiting him at the hospital and at his house, I stopped seeing him. I knew he could never go back to his old self. Not ever again, nope. There was nothing I could do about it.” 

I could see David’s wet tears slowly dripping on his cheeks. 

He was sobbing softly right in front of me, and I couldn’t prevent him from being emotionally laden! His lovely dark eyes made me want to weep too! I truly thought about giving him a heavy-hearted TIGHT embrace in my arms and offering him a shoulder to cry on when he shared his sadness over Andrew. This was the moment I fell in love with him. 

I thought about kissing David’s cheeks and probably his lips, too? It would lead one kiss to another level, you know?

When he was in such a vulnerable position emotionally, I was aware that I had the potential to take advantage of him. I could’ve given him my kiss at this point, but I STOPPED myself from doing that since I didn’t want David to assume that this was some kind of scheme on my part. This was NOT the right time for me at all. I cherished the moments when he became overly emotional at the mere mention of Andrew Vetor, and I yearned to care for him like a trophy wife, as any woman would. Whether it was singing a lullaby to him in sign language or doing everything in my power to make him feel better, these are the kinds of things that I would like to do for him.

I should’ve KISSED him IN perfect timing to jump on him and kiss him right there on the spot!

I had the illusion that it would persuade him to kiss me back when I made the first move and admit that he wanted me as well, but I felt in my gut that I was wrong to think that. It was the only thing I wanted to hear from him, and that was the only thing I wanted to hear him say to me! I wasn’t meant to concentrate on that moment with him from so many years ago, but I wanted David Cardona to be a part of my life so passionately bad. I cared about him. A lot.

So, nope, that ain’t gonna happen…

I decided NOT to kiss him because I was afraid that if I’d already crossed the line that he didn’t like, his reaction would be a big fat ass NO. David probably would’ve punched me in the face before cutting off all communication with me forever.

I was afraid of that risk. 

A purely decorative fan-made photo of the LGBTQ flag in the background (a picture within a picture). The first five words appeared in the front of the background: David Cardona/Straight Outta Da Bronx. Charlie Barnett (Hollywood actor) in The Happy Sad photo is still via the IMDB website. Edited by Picmonkey Website user Shad Eight Black.

A purely decorative fan-made photo of the LGBTQ flag in the background. The first five words appeared: David Cardona/Straight Outta Da Bronx. Charlie Barnett (Hollywood actor) in The Happy Sad photo is still via the IMDB website.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s